I Checked Today’s Forecast… and Florida is in a MOOD.
Every morning I check the forecast to see whether I’ll need my Florida survival skills or if I can just go about my day like a normal person.
Today’s report?
“Mostly cloudy and windy… with small hail.”
Small hail.
At 82 degrees.
Only Florida can hand you beach weather with a side of ice pellets and act like that’s a casual Sunday.
And then, in the corner of my homepage, AccuWeather proudly announces: “1 inch of rain today.” One inch.
Florida looks at that like, “Aww, precious, Just Handle it.” Anywhere else, 1 inch of rain is a whole situation.
Here, it’s barely enough to rinse the pollen off your car.
It’s Florida clearing its throat.
But the real comedy is the “weatherspeak” wording.
AccuWeather calling tonight a “gusty thunderstorm” is like calling a shark “a spicy fish.”
Sounds benign I know..but…Here’s what it might actually mean:
• tropical storm style bursts
• sideways rain
• lightning that hits the ground
• trees getting rocked
• power flickers
• the kind of wind that makes you rethink your life choices
This is the exact kind of storm that weakens trees so they fall three days later, especially since we’ve had no rain in weeks – which is why vacationers — fresh off surviving “weather bombs,” “polar vortexes,” and blizzards with names like Ezekiel — walk outside on a sunny Tuesday and go: “Why is there a giant oak in the road?”
Here’s the truth for those who don’t live here:
Florida storms don’t finish their business on the day they arrive. They leave time delayed surprises.
And to the vacationers who think they’ve “seen it all”
because they survived a nor’easter: Sweethearts…
You’re not ready. Florida weather doesn’t follow rules.
It doesn’t care about your itinerary, your matching shirts, or your $40 Disney ponchos – Or worse your ginormous Disney admission tickets! It will give you sunshine, hail, lightning, and a rainbow all in the same 12 minutes — and then pretend nothing happened. Hey, I know what it’s like to sprint through Disney in ankle deep water pushing a metal stroller during a lightning show. Just another day in paradise.
So yes, I checked the forecast. Now you be safe when it rains y’all and for heaven’s sake just keep driving when it does – it’s ok – even IF you can’t see what’s ahead of you. Just slow down a bit…55 is nice!
So yea – Florida is in a mood. You’ll be fine and welcome to Florida!
Despina Manos